Sadness is a Gesture

by APHRA

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about

"Most people would listen to my songs and assume it’s about boy meets girl, boy breaks girl’s heart, girl cries. But these songs are actually about my family and the crippling confusion and heartbreak addiction causes."

Under the moniker APHRA (pronounced AF-RA), Philadelphia’s Rebecca Waychunas has meticulously crafted a left-of-pop persona that infuses experiences of personal struggle with both the grit of the DIY/ punk scene and the layered instrumentation of her electronica contemporaries - recalling the likes of a Coexist era The xx mixed with
Mitski. Sadness is a Gesture took over two years to write, record, and produce. In both the songs’ evolution and physical manifestation, they trace a journey working through confusion by way of repeated mental and emotional breakdowns to immense personal growth and clarity.

Waychunas started writing songs in high school as a way to make sense of the instability around her. Her openness about the traumatizing effect that drug and alcohol addiction has had on familial and personal relationships serves as the foundation for the sonically diverse tracks. "All of these songs were actually written with a particular person or relationship in mind in which addiction played a huge part,” Waychunas explains. “I don’t personally struggle with any substance issues, but I have realized that I am quite drawn to people who suffer from them. I’ve learned who I am, and who I am in relation to the people closest to me, most intimately through the process of recording this project."

She considers herself lucky to live in a city that offers such a supportive underground music scene. Philadelphia has allowed Waychunas to grow as both a songwriter and performer, and collaborate with artists across several different mediums. Her immersion in these communities has helped hone her proficiency in video production and dance choreography. The release of Sadness is a Gesture serves as both a reflection and expression of APHRA’s deeply personal and creative pursuits.

credits

released February 28, 2017

Thanks to Eric, Alex, Megan, Asher, & Inherent Sounds

All songs written, produced, and mixed by Rebecca Waychunas
Eric Bogacz co-produced 'Rooms' and 'Oh Peter' and programmed percussion for 'Oh Peter'
Jack Zafares played guitar on 'Oh Peter'
Mastered by Alex Santalli at Spice House Sound
Vinyl mastered by Infrasonic Sound
Design by Rechelle Payne

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APHRA Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Under the moniker APHRA, Philadelphia’s Rebecca Waychunas has meticulously crafted a left-of-pop persona that infuses experiences of personal struggle with both the grit of the DIY/ punk scene and the layered instrumentation of her electronica contemporaries. ... more

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Track Name: Honey
Better days
When I snuggled up to Carlo
The day his father died
And we kissed
While the moon smiled upon us
He could tell I was his child

But gone are the tears
Gone are the days
Tonight

Gone are the tears
Gone are the days

All the trouble
Like the fake paystubs
And the chips that paid my rent ohh ohh ohh

We wait lock ourselves in the bedroom
I’m not leaving your side this time

Gone are the tears
Gone are the days
Tonight

God bless the haunted
They keep the stories alive
God bless the monuments we
Fragile men make may they stand tall oh
Track Name: Geranimo
Baby let me sleep
You can wake me up if you want to
I'll say who I am, I'll say who I am, I'll say who I am
If you don't take that away from me
I'll put on my prayers
I'll make you breakfast, I'll make your love I'll make your bed
I'll sound the alarms, there's fascists everywhere
And then I'll lose you to social drinking

I've got an opera of feeling don't want to make it regret
Cause I'm a daughter of a revolution, gotta keep my head up
You're demanding exposure, I'm demanding respect
Why can't you want what’s already here
And your brain is so well lit
But your mind is on a wave
Do you really want to know,
(Keep breathing, say something, cause everyone’s watching)
What's keeping me this way?

"Geranimo"

I need a T.V or a mirror or a window, give me something
Cause I'm looking to save my skin not my soul.
And I need you and I want you but we're not in love
Within two showers and you’re gone.
Got my license inspected but no where to go
I could trade this hard lovin for something more.
In the valley or darkness will you yell my name,
Or will you just make a mess of my body again?

I'm wide awake
Am I?
Am I making it all up? X2
Track Name: Would You
If I’m perceived as reckless
If I refused to read the news
If I get up to change the station
Til I’m in a better mood

Would you tell how I’m feeling
Would you do what you want to
Would you love me, love me, would you?

You’re the traffic outside my window
You’re the stuff I spread on toast
When I choose to sit in silence
It’s you I hear the most

Don’t tell me what I’m feeling
I’ll just do what I want to
Would you love me, love me, would you?

The older generations they didn’t get choose
But if you asked me tomorrow
Oh I’ll probably say I do

We all need a revolution
But we’re too busy making do
Would you love me, love me, would you?

Lonely isn’t so lonely
When you realize what’s true
That nothing really matters
And there’s nothing you can do

But let’s make the best of something
Let’s do what we want to

Oh love me, love me, would you?
Just love me, love me, would you?
Will you love me, love me, would you?
Track Name: Oh Peter
Oh Peter, your love keeps the moon full
Your hourglass always stays full
We’re taking turns with reversal
Our hands grow tired

You leave no paper trail
You’re always looking for a crawl space
under her floorboards

There are no pictures
We were never yours

Oh your love keeps the moon full
(Just one more...)
Track Name: Rooms
I've cried in strange places
I sip on my tears till they taste sweet
Now my legs they rust
My skin slips off in your hands you count
Every bone but there's still
So many rooms to haven't seen yet

I'm taking you high
You're taking me low

Fell into you against my will
You left such sweetness ringing in my ear
Now my legs, they rust
My skin slips off in your hands you count
Every bone but there's still
So many rooms to haven't seen yet

I'm taking you high
You're taking me low
Track Name: Happy
Sometimes I don’t think you don’t let me in
Cause you’re afraid you’ll say something
That’ll make me want to not want to sleep with you again

I wanna know what you’re struggling with
I’ll never tell you to go see a therapist
I just want to see you
Happy

I’ve got reasons to love you
So it’s easy to stay
I really miss you in the evening
Sort of miss you all day
I’ve spent so long being
So afraid
Of you and cliches

If we go out and you don’t wanna stay
We can leave, you don’t have to explain
Even though I think you spent
Too much time alone

We made so many rules to this game
But maybe one day I’ll meet your family
You’ll meet my mom though she’s crazy
With a capital C

I’ve got reasons to love you
So it’s easy to stay
I really miss you in the evening
Sort of miss you all day
I’ve spent so long being
So afraid
Of you and cliches
I wanna know what you’re struggling with
I won’t tell you to go see therapist
I just want to see you
Happy
Track Name: Sadness is a Gesture
I said I like you and that’s what I meant
That’s why I asked you for a cigarette
The way you said you didn’t smoke
I said neither do I

I only drink when I’m depressed
When I’m bored or having fun with friends
Marijuana, I don’t wanna if I have to pay a cent

Do you still like me now?
Am I no different than the rest?
Sadness is a just a gesture that my loneliness makes

You may be phony but I can’t tell
I’ll try to love you but I’ll probably fail
Think I’m crazy because I’m convinced everyone else knows how

But I can’t wait to see your face
In the pale light of the TV screen
I’m only shaking because it’s the only way my body can tell this is real

Do you still like me now?
Am I no different than the rest?
Sadness is a just a gesture that my loneliness makes

Are you still with me now?
Did you miss the point again?
Sadness raises the questions that we are afraid to make

Same story nothing new
I tried my best to not be mad at you
A lovers quarrel is nearly as hard as a friendship on the rocks

Do you still like me now?
Am I no different than the rest?
Sadness is a just a gesture that my loneliness makes

Are you still with me now?
Did you miss the point again?
Sadness raises the questions that we are afraid to make

Do you still like me now?